Thursday, May 31, 2012

Your life will change

This may seem obvious, but I'll admit I wasn't aware of how much our lives would change.  I haven't been able to work since my husband's surgery and I'm not sure if I will be able to work outside the home once dialysis starts either.  Every day seems full.  I get up early and I go until about 9 at night.  I check the online world, watch a little TV and then go to sleep, wake up and do it all again.

Emotionally things change too.  There are periods of crying that I can't explain, periods of joy when things seem "normal" and periods where I am just going through the motions and trying to move forward.  It really isn't something a person can understand until they are living it.  No one could have prepared me for all the emotions involved.

Physically things change.  I'm guessing it is mostly from the emotional roller coaster, all the appointments, and the extra things I am doing for my Hubby.  For me it is also from trying to do a ton of gardening... far more than one person can reasonably do.

For Hubby I can only imagine how hard this is on him.  I see him struggling, but I don't know that I fully understand just how much he is going through physically and mentally.

I don't have any advice for how to get through it, other than to pray.  Without faith, I don't think I could handle all of this.  Praise God for little miracles.


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